They saaaaaaaayyyy, Ruby, you're like a flaaaaameee...

Y'all know I just got a new kitten a month ago. This is my Aunt Thelma's new kitty, Ruby. She's 8 weeks old and I want her to come live with me, but her parents have voiced an emphatic "NO, she's our kitten and you keep your paws OFF!!!

Two cups of kitten...she's so cute.

Growth...

As much as I don't want to put forth the effort, it is time for me to grow as a person.

I've been going through a despised little phase of malcontent and it's time to move on.

Strangely, last night, in a bar, I got a tip on how I might do this. Although I am a Christian (I believe in Jesus), I haven't had a strong church affiliation for a number of years - and have come to the conclusion that religious affiliations are not absolutely necessary to either grow spiritually or to become a person of integrity. A chance meeting with someone with whom I had become acquainted dropped by the bar and almost immediately we struck up a conversation about an exiled Vietnamese Bhuddist monk/author who had been nominated by MLKjr for the Nobel Peace Prize way back in 1967. Phil explained a bit of the monk's philosophy to me and I found it appealing.

Today I looked up the monk's philosophy and am reprinting it below in case anyone who heard the conversation between Phil and I might be interested.

I am not attempting to "indoctrinate" or "push" something on anyone. It does have a "religions" connotation to it, so if you can't respect another view, then stop reading now - I don't want to waste anyone's time.
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"Do not be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology.
All systems of thought are guiding means; they are not absolute truth.

Do not think that the knowledge you presently possess is changeless, absolute truth. Avoid being narrow-minded and bound to present views. Learn and practice non-attachment from views in order to be open to receive others' viewpoints. Truth is found in life and not merely in conceptual knowledge. Be ready to learn throughout your entire life and to observe reality in yourself and in the world at all times.

Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education. However, through compassionate dialogue, help others renounce fanaticism and narrowness.

Do not avoid contact with suffering or close your eyes before suffering. Do not lose awareness of the existence of suffering in the life of the world. Find ways to be with those who are suffering by all means, including personal contact and visits, images, sound. By such means, awaken yourself and others to the reality of suffering in the world.

Do not accumulate wealth while millions are hungry. Do not take as the aim of you life fame, profit, wealth, or sensual pleasure. Live simply and share time, energy, and material resources with those who are in need.

Do not maintain anger or hatred. As soon as anger and hatred arise, practice the meditation on compassion in order to deeply understand the persons who have caused anger and hatred. Learn to look at other beings with the eyes of compassion.

Do not lose yourself in dispersion and in your surroundings. Learn to practice breathing in order to regain composure of body and mind, to practice mindfulness, and to develop concentration and understanding.

Do not utter words or commit actions that can create discord and cause the community to break. Make every effort to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.

Do not say untruthful things for the sake of personal interest or to impress people. Do not utter words that cause division and hatred. Do not spread news that you do not know to be certain. Do not criticize or condemn things you are not sure of. Always speak truthfully and constructively. Have the courage to speak out about situations of injustice, even when doing so may threaten your own safety.

Do not use the any religious community for personal gain or profit, or transform your religious community into a political party. A religious community should, however, take a clear stand against oppression and injustice, and should strive to change the situation without engaging in partisan conflicts.

Do not live with a vocation that is harmful to humans and nature. Do not invest in companies that deprive others of their chance to life. Select a vocation which helps realize your ideal compassion.

Do not kill. Do not let others kill. Find whatever means possible to protect life and to prevent war.

Possess nothing that should belong to others. Respect the property of others but prevent others from enriching themselves from human suffering or the suffering of other beings.

Do not mistreat your body. Learn to handle it with respect. Do not look on your body as only and instrument. Preserve vital energies (sexual, breath, spirit) for the realization of the Way(1). Sexual expression should not happen without love and commitment. In sexual relationships be aware of future suffering that may be caused. To preserve the happiness of others, respect the rights and commitments of others. Be fully aware of the responsibility of bringing new lives into the world. Meditate on the world into which you are bringing new beings.

Do not believe that I feel that I follow each and every of these precepts perfectly. I know I fail in many ways. None of us can fully fulfill any of these. However, I must work toward a goal. These are my goal. No words can replace practice, only practice can make the words. "
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Thanks, Phil!!!!

Family Pride....

This beautiful child is my 2nd cousin, granddaughter of my Auntie T. and daughter of my cousin, K, and her husband, D. Her name is Jordan and she is 13-1/2 years old. In my family, my cousin's generation basically chose not to have children, so this little girl is our path to the future.

She's an exceptional student, athlete and all-around good kid. Her mother tells me she will not be able to date until she is 50 (Uh-huh, Uh-huh), will not be allowed to drive until her daddy can provide a Rolls (what! she can't drive next year!), and the shield on fast-food will be lifted when she is 25.

Since I'm not a mom, Jordan is the closest I can get when it comes to "bragging rights."

Ain't she sweet!

Taking my lead from others....

I have a reputation to uphold here!!! LOL However, I'm not "stealing" anything, I'm just expanding on ideas.

Someone has posted a photo of a big-eyed bug on a blog which nudges me to share a recipe. This recipe is for the ATTRACTION of bugs so your supply will be unending, should you tire of the protein offerings at commercial grocery vendors.

Lots of cultures eat bugs, even here in the United States - but mostly in Asia and France (ask before your order chenille, blatte or mouche domestique).

Bug Chow

Mix all the following ingredients together in a glass or plastic container:

2/3 cup of warm water
4 tablespoons of brewer's yeast
2 teaspoons of honey
1/2 cup of granulated sugar

This formulation can be sprayed in any convenient harvesting area.

If you don't want to capture and harvest your own bugs, you can get them in bulk at almost all pet stores or at www.grubco.com.

The photo above is of Jay Leno on a visit to a midwestern university Entomology Club, where they have a test kitchen for researching insect-based culinary delights. I've reprinted (with permission) a recipe (ummmm mmmm...good!) for you to try in your own kitchen.

Corn Borer Cornbread Muffins

Ingredients:

Cornbread mix
3/4 c. dry roasted corn borers
Directions:
Prepare batter according to instructions.
Stir in insects.
Bake.

Doesn't that sound tasty, and what could be easier?!?!

Disclaimer: This blogger is not responsible for gastric distress, allergic reactions, feelings of repulsion, or other problems resulting from the ingestion of foods represented on this page.

We now celebrate BirthWeeks!!!

This is Bruce's birthweek (does he read our blogs???), so I have a little ode for him - a story, actually. Bruce is a baker of cakes and other confectionary delights.

My birthday cake, as long as I can remember, was THE culinary highlight of my year - right up there with the chocolate bunny in my Easter basket, or the lobster roll from the little stand on the way to the beach on summer vacation. Birthdays were the exception to the few and far between treats rationed to me during any given year - on my birthday I could have any kind of cake I wanted, no matter what!

I could choose any cake - traditional, or dreamed up and never tried before, store bought or homemade. Most years I went for chocolate with vanilla icing. Chocolate can be debated - what are the finer points of devil's food v. german chocolate? Plain vanilla icing could include marshmallow creme - plain, yet treading ever so lightly on the exotic.

Birthday cakes are more than just something to eat. They are a cultural tradition.

The decision making was at least as pleasurable as the actual consumption.

But, the really important thing is not what kind of cake it is, how perfect it looks or even how good it tastes, but that the main ingredient is love. Love is what the birthday person feels in the glow of the candles and the taste of the sweet frosting.

This isn't about me, it's about Bruce: our baker of cakes. Whether or not he knows it, when he bakes someone a birthday cake, even if he doesn't know them, he's mixing up love in a pan for someone else to pass along on a day of celebration.

I celebrate you, Bruce. Happy 50th and many, many more.

History and Folklore

Mt. Rushmore, carved from pumpkins ---->

Pumpkin is truly a native American food. The pumpkin was a staple of the American Indians and was eaten roasted, boiled and stewed. At the first Thanksgiving feast, in 1621, pumpkin was on the menu along with the turkey, corn and other American dishes. Pumpkins, thought to have been named for the medieval European squash "pompion", were used along with persimmons in a fermented brew which was flavored with maple sugar by the innovative Yankees. One legend has it that one Connecticut colony delayed Thanksgiving because the molasses used to make the pumpkin pie of the day was not readily available.

Several American writers have referred lovingly to the pumpkin. "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" by Washington Irving refers to a pumpkin jack-o'-lantern. Thoreau and James Whitcomb Riley both made reference to pumpkins in their writings.

The term "pumpkin head" is said to be derived from a law which required men to have haircuts which conformed to the contours of a cap placed over the head. Pumpkin shells were sometimes substituted for scarce caps.

Mother Goose even refers to pumpkins in "Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater. And everyone has heard of Cinderella's pumpkin coach!

Tales of Africa

THE BASICS OF SIMBA

I was passing by the gate that leads to the courtyard of the house in which I lived and stopped to spend a little time chatting with the watchman. Like most guards in the Nairobi residential areas, Isaiah was a Maasai. Men from the Maasai tribe in Kenya are fierce warriors who will think nothing about taking up a job that might expose them to gun-totting thugs. A single Maasai Moran (as the warrior is called) is capable of killing a grown lion while wielding only a knife, spear or club. For that reason, criminals keep clear of any area that is being guarded by Maasai.
It is a well know fact that no Maasai is recognized as a real man until he has killed a lion. I was hence curious to get some information about lions from Isaiah.

For starters, he told me that the lion is generally a gentle animal contrary to popular belief. For example, when it is unexpectedly confronted by a human being on a footpath, it gives way and hides in the bushes. This is a common occurrence where Isaiah comes from.

Unlike antelope or zebra, human flesh is not on the instinctive menu of the lion. But of course a lion will defend itself when attacked and so if you are off to shoot one, make sure that you don't miss the shot.

What are the common instances when a lion is likely to attack a person?

1. An old lion that does not have the stamina to hunt wild animals will gladly attack an unwary human being for food.

2. A mating lion couple hates to be disrupted and will definitely attack you if you intrude.

3. A lioness that has cubs will attack if you threaten the cubs in any way.

4. A lion under attack will always defend itself.

Lion cubs are very playful. If you come across a lion family, the cubs will run after you and crowd your feet like a bunch of well-fed puppies. Usually, their mother watches warily from a distance. It would be fatal for you to try and shoo them off since that would trigger the lioness to attack you. Your aggressive gesture indicates that you pose a threat to her cubs. If you ever find yourself in such circumstances, just continue walking calmly until the cubs satisfy their initial curiosity after eagerly sniffing your feet and decide to go back to their mother.

Unfortunately, once a lion tastes human flesh, it acquires a taste for it and will henceforth hunt people. According to Isaiah, there are several parts of the human body that lions never eat;

1. The head
2. The genitals
3. The part of the hand after the wrist
4. The part of the leg after the ankle

These parts are usually left behind for the hyenas
.
Lions are also known to demonstrate some decency. If a lion kills a woman carrying a small child, it takes care of the baby until someone rescues it. Isaiah has experienced more than one occasion where a child is found alive several days after the mother disappeared. The lion will keep the child warm and protect it from other wild animals until it sees a human passing by. It will then try to grab the attention of the person in a bid to alert him or her about the child. As soon as the person notices the child, the lion goes away.

Lions are very cunning. If one chases you and you climb up a tree, it will hang around for as long as it takes for you to come down. It often pretends to have lost interest in you, by yawning loudly and then walking away. As soon as it is out of sight, it then stealthily creeps back through the bushes and waits quietly from a location where it can watch the tree. After a while, you might decide that the coast is clear and come down from the tree…then bam!

For years, the Maasai have coexisted peacefully with lions and other wild animals as they traverse the East African landscape with their domestic animals. The Maasai lead a pastoral, nomadic lifestyle. This admirable healthy respect between man and beast endures as long as the lions leave the Maasai and their cattle alone. Otherwise, the Maasai take their spears to hunt the offending lion.

The AM-2020 Programmable Angst Modulator

Soon, the standalone AM-2020 will be available at your local computer retailer. The AM-2020 is portable, and powered by 11 D-Cell batteries. Solid-state-disk technology and a space-age waterproof design are used to insure that your AM-2020 will be safe in your backpack, on the back seat of your car, or resting in a pool of your own alcohol-laden vomit.

Until it's release, if you are suffering from:

HAPPINESS

THINGS ARE GOING YOUR WAY

YOUR CLOUDS ALL HAVE SILVER LININGS?

THIS IS HORRIBLE, BUT I CAN HELP! - Try Bottled Angst!

Made from horseradish, Guinness extract, and essence of pat, this potion works wonders!
In no time at all, you will be bored and lifeless! Ennui will replace that nagging joy you are so tired of. You won't know how you managed without it for so long!

For some people, angst comes easily and naturally. Until now, the rest of us have had to prance through life without facing up to our true gloom potential. Now, with Bottled Angst, we can all sit around cafes and and sneer at people without Angst.

You'll never go back!

Try Bottled Angst today!

(courtesy, in part, of Pat)

I knew and I didn't hide...

Emotional vampires aren't all bad...they're just bad. Congratulations to me! I have befriended an emotional vampire! You all know the type. They're crying about how they can't get a beer before 2pm. You feel their pain and how can you resist those sad, puppy-dog eyes imploring you for agreement? You can now expect this human leech to attempt to reorganize everything without mutual consent, blab on and on about their politics, and take up your time doing what they want to do, when they want to do it. How do they get away with it? Well, the emotional vampire isn't a completely bad person. You know that s/he isn't a cold-hearted sociopath. So you sympathize and put up with it. So you maybe have to listen to the events of their lives for hours on end - That's OK - what are friends for? Friends give and take. Friends share - they're there for each other. Has this person ever done anything for you? Have they ever asked how you are? Do they even know what your name is? The problem is not that they're evil - they're just incredibly self-absorbed. No one else exists but those who might serve their needs. Yet when you try to get rid of them, the guilt trip follows, and then you feel like a first-class grade-A ingrate. What to do? You could tell them to f*ck off, sure. That'd be easy.

If you'd like to TRY to teach them a lesson, the following is recommended.

1. Totally ignore them when in their presence.
2. Be as self-absorbed as possible.
2. Talk about nothing but yourself.
3. Have your Emotional Vampire hold a table for a show in the cold wind for 45 minutes, then give away his/her seat to other people, while your EV gets you a blanket 'cuz it's cold.
4. Nod in agreement when someone complements your EV, but have a smirk on your face or roll your eyes.
4. Tell them they look great when you really think...well.

And so on.

Keep up this behavior long enough, and eventually they'll run away from you. Might they realize that you're doing to them what they do to you? Probably not. But it could be fun - but first a judgment must be made as to whether this would be a good use of time.

Friendship is a fragile bargain...

It is wonderful to talk to old acquaintances that know what you know and have shared experiences with you in the past. As people mature, they become more expansive mentally because they've accumulated enormous experience. By peering together into the past, you and they can benefit from the perspective that time brings. This surely must be the most exciting, interesting, and fulfilling part of our lives. Few people understand that friendship is a fragile bargain, rescindable at any time by the other party, and live their lives blithely unaware of the mutual vulnerability and danger of losing old friends. I meet so many new people nowadays who for me seem to have neither a past nor a future, although they obviously have... they present themselves to me as an ontological given - without a past I mean...as a phenomenlogical fact of life. I must appear to them in a similar light - for them I have no past and have always been an old woman. Do you know what I mean? Conversation has to have SOME root in the past, or else, you've got to explain every remark you make, and it is very arduous to have to do that - and tends to get a bit boring.